so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
