Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
