yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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