The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
