They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
