just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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