I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
