I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
