But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my shit smells like andre
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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