he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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