Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
