My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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