Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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