i may or may not be watching the land before time
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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