just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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