This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have demons in me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
