i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
