Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
