I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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