Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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