the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
