weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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