You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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