Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
