ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
