And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
