i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
