Don't you send me to vm
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
