super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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