we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
