omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
