Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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