Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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