She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
