my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
