go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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