im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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