"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
