I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His nipple licking is glorious
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