thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
