States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
