shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
