I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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