Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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