I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
