i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
