covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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