Porn is love you can see.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
