You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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