I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
